So you want to hear an example of people adhering to the most inane rules without common sense? A couple of weeks ago, I was over my friend Randy’s house along with my brother-in-law Pete and we decided to order a pizza. Randy had a coupon for the local pizza joint to “buy two large two-topping pizzas for $14.99.” After hashing out each other’s likes and dislikes, we settled on one half-sausage, half-pepperoni and one plain cheese. We just didn’t want another topping and thought, hey, we pay full price and they save a topping.

Uh-uh. The gal taking the order insisted that we had to order two toppings. She even asked her manager and he agreed with her. (She had to ask a manager!) Never mind that we would be paying the same price either way. The coupon was for two two-topping pizzas and that’s what we were going to get. So we ordered double-cheese. That’s right, an extra handful of cheese mollified the insistent order taker.

Do people bother to use the mass of flesh sitting on their shoulders anymore? Is it any wonder people can’t drive and talk on the cellphone at the same time? Or make change from a dollar?

Next time, we’ll order a double-cheese pizza and a no-cheese, meat pizza, but ask to put half the double cheese on the second pizza. I wonder if that will work. Or maybe their heads will explode like the paradox-challenged robots on Star Trek.

  • Geez Todd, you look for any reason to disagree with me, don’t you. *Sigh* The deal wasn’t for cheese, but any topping. It wasn’t some big chain worried about turnover, it was a small mom-and-pop pizza shop.